A Letter to My Worship Team...

Here's a letter I wrote to my team, at the end of our worship rotation...I know it can easily apply to worship leaders, but I pray it ministers to you as well...xo G


Hello lovelies...

I just wanted to say what an honor and privilege it has been worshipping with you guys the past 6 months.  Man did it fly by...I've learned so much from you, and am always in awe by all of your talents.  

Thank you again for your flexibility this last week, I know some of you weren't happy with us getting there earlier, but God worked everything out beautifully, just like I'd hoped!  We have a good God! 

Also I don't know if you guys noticed but I never have my left in-ear monitor in my ear.  I do this for two reasons: first to see if anyone in the back needs to get my attention; secondly, to hear the body's response to the worship.  I was so moved this past Sunday when the body of Flipside started singing How Great is Our God.  I couldn't help but get choked up, and it took all of my being not to break down crying.  In that very moment I knew that, THAT is what worship was all about.  It's not the two hour practices, or learning harmonies or chords, or which beat sounds better...yes those are all important; but worship is realizing that God alone is our hiding place, our Alpha and Omega, our complete and total keeper.  

Emotions and experiences can be expressed through song in ways spoken words can never satisfy.  In James 5:13 it says, "Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises."  Can I get an amen?! In Psalms 63:5 it says, "You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy."  I can't help but think brothers and sisters that God does not accompany our lives without music.  I got a glimpse of that on Sunday.  

I know not all of us had the easiest time the last 6 months, heck the last couple of years; and let's be honest, it might not get easier in the future.  But I can't help but think of Job's story, when all was taken away, all he could do was give God praises even in the darkest nights. Job 35:10-But no one says, ‘Where is God my Maker, Who gives songs in the night."

Often times as worshipers we can think a song is beautiful and memorize its words yet remain completely unaffected by what it says.  Consider the relevance of Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 14:15-I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind.  God wants us to worship Him with our souls, but are we truly taking in and reeling through our minds what we are singing and playing?  We have to make a mental and spiritual note TO SING AND PLAY! A song can change our entire perspective, and a song can also greatly affect the heart of God.  When I have been greatly challenged in my life, I've had to learn to stop and worship him.  When I've been tempted, or wanted to go down a different path, I have literally had to sit my butt down and say to myself, Jillian, just sing to your God!  In the Psalms it says, "Let everything that has breath, PRAISE HIM!"  Let us do that my friends.

I pray that God makes us true psalmists, and may there never be a rock that has to cry out in our place!

Love and Peace,

Jillian

Contents of Conversation...

No one will warn you,
Of the contents of conversation.

Words can sneak up on you,
Delivering news of uncertainty.

It was just one time,
Will I be a good mother?


He kissed me.
He kissed me.


I don't think this will work,
You've changed.


How can I do better?
You're fired.


What do you think I should do?
I'm sorry.


I love you.
I miss you.
I hate you.


Please stay.
Just leave.


If words could break,
We've broken them.

If cliché of speech could only be taken by ingenuity,
Words, go forth, cut like a two-edged sword.
Comfort and hold me with sincerity.

If only the contents of conversation would break the mold,
Of last night TV shows,
And the way the clouds change shape.

Bring life to your words,
Passion to your speech,
And death to stereotype once and for all.

Written By: Jillian Saldana

REMEMBER!!!

So my last day of being twenty years old, I created a list of things I learned.  I found that list today; and it seems my twenty year old self has taught my twenty-four year old self a lesson.  Thank you God...I hope you find a few things true as well and hold onto them...

20 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED THE PAST 20 YEARS...


1.  REMEMBER THAT GODS ARMS ARE NOT TO BIG TO HOLD ME.


2.  REMEMBER THAT I WASN'T CREATED TO FIT IN, BUT RATHER STAND OUT!


3.  REMEMBER THERE'S NO TIME LIMIT ON GOD'S LOVE FOR ME.


4.  REMEMBER THAT GOD IS THE ONE WHO CAN MAKE A WAY, WHEN THERE IS NO WAY!


5.  REMEMBER, DON'T IMITATE THOSE IN THE WORLD WHO CARE NOTHING FOR MY SOUL, GIVE MYSELF TO GOD, AND HE WILL GIVE ME THE LOVE I'M LOOKING FOR.


6.  REMEMBER THAT MY REAL BEAUTY IS A WORK OF ART-IT'S HAND CARVED BY GOD.


7.  REMEMBER TO TRUST GOD WITH MY TROUBLED HEART, AND WATCH HIM DO WONDERS FOR ME IN THE MIDST OF THE HOTTEST FLAMES.


8.  REMEMBER THAT THOSE I LOVE, ULTIMATELY BELONG TO GOD, NOT ME.


9.  REMEMBER THATGOD WILL USE MY PAST TO CARVE INTO MY CHARACTER EVERYTHING I NEED FOR THE HERE AND NOW.


10.  REMEMBER...DON'T WASTE MY TIME FIGHTING THE WRONG BATTLES.


11.  REMEMBER EVERY CHOICE I MAKE IS A SIGNIFICANT CHORD IN AN ETERNAL ARRANGEMENT.


12.  REMEMBER THAT MY LOVED ONES NEED ME MORE THAN ANY MATERIAL THING.


13.  REMEMBER...THIS LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL,IT'S THE REAL THING, AND GOD TRAINS ME THROUGH THESE TESTS TO TRUST HIM.


14.  REMEMBER TO LET MY WARDROBE REVEALS GOD'S SPIRIT, RATHER THEN MY FLESH.


15.  REMEMBER THAT NO ONE WILL LOVE ME AS PERFECTLY AS GOD DOES.


16.  REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE NEED LOVE THE MOST, WHEN THEY DESERVE IT THE LEAST.


17.  REMEMBER TO GIVE GOD MY AGENDA, TO CHANGE IT FROM ORDINARY TO EXTRAORDINARY.


18.  REMEMBER I MUST BECOME THE KIND OF FRIEND I DESIRE TO HAVE.


19.  REMEMBER TO LET GO OF THE PART OF MY HEART THAT ONLY GOD CAN HEAL, LET GOD HOLD ME WHILE I CRY.


20.  AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...I KNOW SOMETIMES I DONT FEEL LOVEABLE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO EARN GOD'S AFFECTION, HE ADORE'S ME... 

A Place Between Rock and Classical

Listening to two different melodies,
Both intercepting their way through the crowded mind of a girl,
Whose life has been the chateau of misplaced dreams and heaps of lies.

Even in her attempt of seeking peace,
She scorches her skin in the sun.
Beads of sweat slowly make their way down her face to her strained neck.

It's as though all eyes are on her,
Entranced by the girl with the pen.
All wonder why she's seated alone in the sun of a shaded nook.

Her eyes glance around,
Looking to see if anyone's stares or blatant judgments will distract her from her writing.

She's envious of the young girl,
Who frolics and splashes in the fountain next to her.
She hopes water will reach her skin to cool her off.

Instead the heat covers her table,
Her hair blows without apology and her pen doesn't seem to stop.
Having a mind of its own,
It glides across the journal of nonsense thoughts.

Could she be like the girl splashing in the water?
Not caring if the canvas of her coral tennis shoes will soon fade?
Can she be like the girl?
Her hair whipped across her face, painted across her rouged cheeks.

Could she in the future enjoy her day,
Enough to appreciate the breezes which turn her pages.

Written By:
Jillian Saldana

So Who's Your Style Icon?

So I've had a few people ask me lately who are my style icons?  And although I may not regularly think about whom they are, it did get me to take a seat and start reeling through the images in my mind which stand out.  So here they are, in no particular order, the ladies that I've been inspired by stylistically...

1.  My Mom...

My mom is the first person who pointed out fashion in cinemas, walking down the streets and in magazines.  She didn't place emphasis on being a fashionista, but rather placed emphasis on realizing beauty in every circumstance.  I used to look through her make-up drawers and apply the olive green eye shadows from the 80's and her red lipstick which has always been a staple of hers.  She taught me not to be afraid of color, to know what looks good on my body-type, as well as compliment others when they looked amazing.  More than anything she gave me a sense of confidence, not ensued by beautiful and fashionable clothes; but rather an inner confidence that made the clothing shine even brighter. 

2.  Ava Gardner...

Ava Gardner to me has always been one who knew her assets and dressed in such a way to flaunt them.  I remember seeing her in Show Boat when I was a little girl and immediately was awestruck.  I've always been inspired by her body-hugging gowns, her shiny dark brown curls, her green eyes, creamy skin and red lips.  She had rocky marriages, affairs and scandal with which riddled her life.  But to me her confidence and attitude is what always kept me entertained.

3.  Rita Hayworth...

It's the hair!  What I've always liked about Rita Hayworth is that she herself was of mixed race.  She came from Spanish decent, but didn't really fit the look.  Although she started her career with dark hair; she pushed back her hair-line and dyed it red, thus becoming the Rita Hayworth everyone knows today.  She danced with my favorite male dancer, Gene Kelly, and covered many wartime pinups.  But what I like about Rita Hayworth was her humility.  She once said, "Men go to bed with Gilda, but wake up with me."

4.  Brigitte Bardot...

Again with the hair.  I've always adored the fashion of the 1940's but it was really the hair and makeup of the 1960's which have cemented themselves in my brain.  To me there is nothing sexier than the blown-out hair, thick black lashes with black eye liner and a muted lip.  Brigitte Bardot executed the look, and therefore every time I try to get inspired hair or makeup wise, I look at her.   

5.  Audrey Hepburn...

Ever since I saw Breakfast at Tiffany's and My Fair Lady, I wanted to be Audrey Hepburn.  Not only did I want her peculiar accent, I adored her simplicity.  Although stylists really aided her on movie sets, it was the cigarette pant and her staple of black in her wardrobe in which I aways admired.  I envied that she could pull-off a pixie cut, as well as many other hair-cuts in her lifetime.  She always seemed like a lady, and that to me was impressive.

So there you go, a few of my icons...who are yours?

Love and Peace,
G

    

     

 

 

I Could Run Away...

Do you ever have times in your life where you wish you can just runaway?  Runaway from life, from friends, from family, from problems, obligations, responsibilities, etc.

My grandma found out she had breast cancer today, and all I want to do is sleep, cry and get away.  But is strength running away from your problems, or is it facing them and getting through them?  I know everyone says that God won't give you more then you can handle, but do you ever get tired of hearing that?  Tell that to the young woman last week who lost her fiance to suicide, and she flat out said she couldn't hear that expression one more time.  To the wife, whose husband was having an affair after years of marriage.  To the girl whose lost her dad, her husband and now her mom.

Do you ever wish that God didn't trust you so much?

I used to sing a song called "I Could Runaway," and as I was sitting in my room alone, crying myself to some sort of a nap, I couldn't help but sing this song once again.

I could runaway, You will never leave, You will always stay, right by my side.  Everything I ever wanted I found in You; and I need You, every step of the way.

Forgive me for being a little negative, but I feel like I'm losing my ground.  And sometimes I think, "What's the point?"  WIll you pray for me that I will continue on this journey.  If I let you down, if I break your heart, if I don't meet expectations, I'm sorry.  But remember...don't hold me on a pedestal.  I'm only human.

G

This Brokenness Inside Me Might Start Healing...

It's crazy how in one second your life can change.  Whether it be a move of stepping forward, a move of stepping backwards, or sometimes just steps back and forth.  Often it can be the most random step, and you ask yourself, "What was I thinking?!"

I feel like I've been doing a sort of waltz in my life the last couple of months; doing things which I normally never would, and not in a good way.  Is this a part of growing up?  Because if it is I wish it hurt less.

Our lives are defined by our actions, and in my own life I have been pretty predictable.  But as of late, I feel like I've been a little lost.  An amazing friend of mine just told me to stop putting everything on my shoulders and to start putting things in the light.  Heck, if we put things in light from the very beginning, things wouldn't be drawn out and even made into a bigger deal.  But our flesh, our confusion and mostly our pride cause us to hide things which may cause others to feel different about us.  No one wants their reputation dragged through the mud, no one wants their lives to be yelled from rooftops.  But unfortunately it has to happen.  And you get to that place where you wis you could've gone back to the predictable person that is YOU.  

I pray if this has happened to you, that you would allow God to heal you.  That your sins, lies, hopes, dreams would not be hidden because you are scared of what others might think.  Yes, we are called to live a life set apart; unfortunately we ourselves fall down.  It may happen continually, or this could be the first time.  Whether it's your first of many, or your first and your very last; I pray that God will rescue you.

Our brokenness can only be healed and restored once circumstances have light shed upon then.  So I challenge you, as I have been challenged, to give it over to God.  He won't let you go, I PROMISE!

Love and Hoped For Peace,
G